middleagefella's

Well it had to happen one day..

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Check this Christmas Snow Globe out

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

 Both Firefox 2.0 and Internet Explorer 7 can help protect you against phishing sites that try to trick you into revealing personal info, but which does a better job of it? According to a Mozilla-commissioned report conducted by independent firm SmartWare, Firefox is the champ.In the SmartWare test, Microsoft's Internet Explorer 7 blocked 690 known phishing sites, or 66.35 percent of the total. In contrast, Firefox blocked 78.85 percent when using a local antiphishing database and 81.54 percent when using the online database.

Take a test to see if you can tell a phishing site

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Latest TV ad for the big digital TV change over.. ( contains very strong language ) Digital TV

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Yes its true…

Forget Blue Mountain / Microsoft winks.. every thing at Kiwee is free…..

Display pics, emoticons, winks and moods are free.. Even add your own photos and texts to winks and all free. Dont hang around.. no saying how long they will remain free. Dont forget Blue Mountain charge around £3 here they are free.

Click  HERE to get your free content for MSN / Live Messenger now…. 

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Haircuts — The Difference Between Men and Women when they have a haircut.. is it vanity…..

Women's version:

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Woman2:  Oh!   You got a haircut!  That's so cute!

Woman1:  Do you think so?  I wasn't sure when she was gave me the
mirror.  I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2:  Oh God no!  No, it's perfect.  I'd love to get my hair cut like
that, but I think my face is too wide.  I'm pretty much stuck with this
stuff I think.

Woman1:  Are you serious?  I think your face is adorable.  And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think.  I
was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent
my long neck.

Woman2:  Oh – that's funny!  I would love to have your neck!  Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1:  Are you kidding?  I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders.  Everything drapes so well on you.  I mean, look at my arms –
see how short they are?  If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to
fit me so much easier.

Men's version:
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Man2:    Haircut?
Man1:    Yeah.

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean…) but i think we men always knew this…..

   10. I think of you as a brother.
         (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in
          "Deliverance")

   9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
         (You are one Jurassic geezer.)

   8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way
         (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon)

   7. My life is too complicate right now.
         (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may
         hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing)

   6. I've got a boyfriend
         (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry's)

   5. I don't date men where I work
         (Hey bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same
          solar system, much less the same building)

   4. It's not you, it's me
         (It's not me, it's you)

   3. I'm concentrating on my career
         (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better
          than dating you.)

   2. I'm celibate.
         (I've sworn off *only* the men like you.)

  …..and the #1 rejection line given by women
       (and what it actually means)

   1. Let's be friends.
         (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating
          detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with; it's
          that 'male perspective' thing)

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 IN RESPONSE  ~~~~~~   The male perspective on the same issue
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      Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men
        (and what they actually mean..)

   10. I think of you as a sister
         (You're ugly)

   9.  There's a slight difference in our ages
         (You're ugly)

   8.  I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way
         (You're ugly)

   7.  My life is too complicated right now.
         (You're ugly)

   6.  I've got a girlfriend
         (You're ugly)

   5.  I don't date women where I work
         (You're ugly)

   4.  It's not you, it's me
         (You're ugly)

   3.  I'm concentrating on my career
         (You're ugly)

   2.  I'm celibate
         (You're ugly)

  …..and the #1 rejection line given by men
       (and what it actually means)

   1.  Let's be Friends
         (You're SINFULLY ugly!)

and some more …..

        THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:

 10.   Could our relationship be more physical?  I'm tired of just being
       friends.
  9.   Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that
       way.
  8.   I think hairy butts are really sexy.
  7.   Hey, get a whiff of that one.
  6.   Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpit
       are just too cute.
  5.   This diamond is way too big.
  4.   I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
  3.   Wow, it really is 14 inches!
  2.   Does this make my butt look too small?
  1.   I'm wrong, you must be right again.

         THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY

 10.     I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
  9.     While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
  8.     I think hairy butts are really sexy.
  7.     Her tits are just too big.
  6.     Sometimes I just want to be held.
  5.     That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.
  4.     Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
  3.     We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping
         and I can hold your purse.
  2.     Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
  1.     I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions.

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob

Four Management Lessons.

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy". "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The Hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. Promptly, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss – any asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a load of hot, steaming dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. The cat promptly dug the bird out, killed him and ate him.

Management Lesson: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend. And when you're warm and happy in your pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!

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The above is from the pen of……. Bob